Editorial: The Absurdity of Ministerial Screening Without Portfolios

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Editorial: The Absurdity of Ministerial Screening Without Portfolios

The process of interviewing or screening of a candidate in any reputable organization is usually to ascertain the suitability of that individual for a specific role. Prospective employees are not interviewed on a general basis. With this in mind, the screening of prospective ministers without knowing what portfolio they would be handed is nothing but absurd.

Dr Victor Oladokun properly captured the absurdity of this practice in his satirical analogy titled: #‎NIGERIA‬: I am Hiring. Send Resumes

Here’s the full writeup.

#‎NIGERIA‬: I am Hiring. Send Resumes by Dr Victor Oladokun.

“I run a company and I need to recruit a diverse team of Administrators, Accountants, Lawyers, Engineers, IT, Marketing, Sales, and Procurement staff. Based on recommendations from friends and associates, I have been provided with a list which I promptly forwarded to a HR Consultancy firm for screening. The Head Consultant tells me – “Dr Oladokun, thanks for your business. However, you only provided us with a list of names. Could you kindly tell us what jobs and roles you anticipate for those we are about to screen.”

I respond, “common on, don’t be old fashioned. That’s so 20th Century! I’ve put together an angelic team of noisemakers who will take my company to unprecedented heights. Don’t bother about roles and responsibilities. They are a star studded team. Just generically screen them jare.”

To which the headhunting HR consultant says, “wow that’s an unusual order. Actually, aside from their resumes we really need to know which positions you consider to be the best fit for each candidate.”

I respond, “Haba, do you want the job or not? That’s the problem with you book people. You make simple things too complex. If it was just me ehn, my ‘leadership by body language’ will take care of things fiam just like that! I said ‘screen’ you are talking grammar. Just ask them generic questions. Once they respond, gbam, you will see clearly with your korokoro eye how brilliant they are and where they fit, Walahi!

Head of HR Consultancy: “But the screening panel is going to expect a whole lot more. Meet us half way. Could we just have an idea of which department goes with each candidate?”

ME: “There is one of them named Adebayo Shittu. He will surprise you o. Hmmm! Yes, sometimes he verbally defecates all over the place. But trust me, he is the answer to ALL Nigeria’s problems. My friend, just tell them to bow and go. What’s your wahala!”

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14 Comments on "Editorial: The Absurdity of Ministerial Screening Without Portfolios"

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Bunmi Odeleye
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“If the legislators want portfolios attached, then they should make amendment to the constitution.” – Amaechi

Chuks Samy Isifeh
Guest

Black people are backwards, when u have no portfolio and being screened, how can they ( d senate) hold u accountble based on ur answers during ur screening. Fore eg., the man they asked how can u make sure that Nigeria bring back the National carrier on air. He said he will do his best to make that happen if he is to be aviation minister. So now, if that man is giving a portfolio to handle Education minister, who else will u hold accountable if Nigeria do not has national carriei back on air.?

Kasie Anthony
Guest

Common sense is not common! Monkeys and baboons making caricature of their existence.

Kasie Anthony
Guest

They are making caricature of themselves

Kasie Anthony
Guest
Chikaodinaka Uchendu
Guest

That is absolutely correct. They are just making mockery of the state NIGERIA (Government).

Oguntowo Samuel Depo
Guest

Why are you chosen to kills yourself before the death? secreening does not speak for portfolio, although, ministers is mouth piece for any govt policies but secreening process does not determined the performances of individual’s abilities. Beware!

Abimbola Mosunmola Olatufo
Guest

A minister must have the knowledge of his entire country ministries,and specialize in one,portfolio or not doesnt affect screening,so next topic pls

Ibrahim Wakil
Guest

Portfolios has nothing to do do with the screening.all thise your saying to the majority of nigeria who voted pmb is not relevants.please find your station an park well.

Azoro Ifeanyi Fortunate
Guest

I see u have reserve energy 2 dicuss nigeria right. B waiting 4 potfolio. Evil entity!

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